Set up FairShare: A step-by-step checklist

FairShare works best when both partners are in from the start. This checklist walks you through the initial setup—from downloading the app through your first weekly check-in. Each step takes just a few minutes, and you'll have a shared mental load tracker that actually reflects who owns what.

Before you start

• Make sure both you and your partner have iOS devices
• Set aside 15–20 minutes when you can both focus (no kids, no distractions)
• Have a phone or tablet ready to show your partner the app as you set it up together

Download and onboard

1. 01Download FairShare from the App Store on your device
2. 02Open the app and choose your household type (e.g., couple, small family, roommates)
3. 03Enter your name when prompted
4. 04Answer the life context questions so FairShare understands your household shape

Invite your partner

1. 01Tap the invite button in onboarding (or find it in settings later)
2. 02Share the invite link with your partner—it works in Messages, email, or any app
3. 03Your partner opens the link on their device and goes through their own onboarding
4. 04Once both of you are set up, you'll see each other's names in the app and start on equal ground

Capture and organize cards

Use Brain Dump to capture tasks

1. 01Open Brain Dump and dump everything on your plate—big stuff, small stuff, stuff you've been meaning to address
2. 02FairShare's AI interceptor suggests which items are actual household tasks vs. one-off errands
3. 03Accept or reject the suggestions; Brain Dump learns as you go

Turn them into cards

1. 01Review your Brain Dump items in the Home tab
2. 02Create a new card for each recurring household responsibility (e.g., 'Plan weekly meals', 'Pay bills on time', 'Schedule kid's doctor appointments')
3. 03For each card, define the full ownership: Conceive (who thinks of it?), Plan (who schedules it?), and Execute (who does it?)
4. 04Assign the card to yourself or your partner—or split it if you truly share all three stages

Visualize and balance

1. 01Go to the Visualizer tab to see the mental load breakdown—how many cards each person owns
2. 02Look for imbalances (e.g., one partner owns twice as many cards as the other)
3. 03Discuss swaps: are there cards the other person should own, or can you split some cards more fairly?
4. 04Update card ownership as you agree on shifts

If you want deeper guidance on how to think about fair splits, read How FairShare Makes Mental Load Visible. It covers the Fair Play framework and how to use it with FairShare.

Start your first check-in

1. 01After one week of using the app, open the Check-in tab
2. 02Answer the short prompts: What shifted? What did we swap? Any updates to Mind-Space-Calendar (MSC)?
3. 03Review each other's answers to spot if the deal still feels fair
4. 04Make card adjustments or plan a deeper conversation if needed
5. 05Check in again next week—the rhythm keeps small issues from becoming big ones

Troubleshooting

Partner didn't get the invite

• Check spam or notification settings on their device
• Copy the invite link and send it again via a different channel (iMessage, email, etc.)
• Make sure they're opening the link on an iOS device

We created duplicate cards

• Delete the duplicate and keep the one with the most detail
• Use the next weekly check-in to confirm the split is fair

Our mental load still feels imbalanced after setup

• Review the Visualizer again—sometimes hidden tasks show up once you're tracking
• Check if one partner is conceiving more cards than executing (that's invisible work)
• Plan a dedicated conversation using the weekly check-in as your data

For more context on mental load in modern households, check out FairShare: Mental Load Split for Modern Couples.